Category: Splatter horror/remake of existing IP
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Sometimes you just need to leave well-enough alone.
Did the world really need ANOTHER entry in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre series? Well, someone, somewhere decided we did, and this is the end result.
Now, given I haven't seen the original (though very familiar with it on a cultural level) I really have nothing to compare this to, so I suppose this 2022 remake-but-not-a-reboot-and-definitely-not-a-sequel is as good as anywhere to start.
The plot:
Dante, Ruth, Lila and Melody (Jacob Latimore, Nell Hudson, Elsie Fisher & Sarah Yarkin) travel to the (fictional) town of Harlow, Texas, in order to facilitate a bank auction of the properties there. The place is essentially a ghost town, far away from everything and has been left to fall into a state of disrepair, with Dante and Melody being propery speculators looking to gentrify the area for a profit.
After speaking with a contractor they hired to spruce the place up, Dante spots a building that has a Confederate flag on it, so he enters the building to try find a way to get it down. Unbeknownst to him and Melody, the house is still occupied by Ginny, a kindly elderly lady who tells the pair that her place was the town's orphanage and that she lives there with the last surviving orphan - a hulking 6'4" menace who doesn't speak (and who I will refer to as Leatherface, even though the movie only reveals this right towards the end). The stress of the police arrival and subseqent argument cause Ginny to go in to cardiac arrest, so Ruth and the two police officers/makeshift paramedics take Ginny and Leatherface to the nearest town for urgent medical treatment.
Unfortunately, Ginny dies on the way, and in a fit of rage, Leatherface breaks off the police officer's hand and stabs him in the chest with the protruding bones. With his other hand, the police officer tries to shoot Leatherface, but instead shoots his partner in the head, causing the police van to veer off the road and into a field whereupon it finally crashes into a tractor. Leatherface breaks out the van and Ruth wakes up to sees Leatherface cutting Ginny's face off in the van's side mirror. A tense situation occurs where Ruth tries to call for help over the police radio, but can't make too much noise lest she attract Leatherface's attention.
This all comes to nought as Leatherface mutilates the corpse of the second police officer and stabs Ruth in the stomach, killing her. However, the shop owner (from the beginning of the movie) hears Ruth's quiet pleas for help over the CB and calls the only survivor from the first film, Sally Hardesty (Olwen Faoure).
Leatherface makes his way back to Harlow and proceeds to kill as many people as he can, mostly by way of his chainsaw. The action focuses on Lila and Melody as it turns out Melody was the survivor of a school shooting, the scars of which still impacts her to the present day.
Just when all hope is lost, here comes Sally wielding weaponry and dressed like Texas, ready to take revenge. Unfortunately, Leatherface takes advantage of the opportunity to complete his rampage from the very first TCM and does a handy chainsaw-assisted throw of Hardesty onto a bunch of trash bags.
Lila and Melody eventually get the chance to do away with Leatherface by drowning him, and thinking they've made their escape, they get into their self-driving car to go back home when all of a sudden, Leatherface no-sells everything that has happened to him so far, rips Melody out of the car and cuts her head off as Lila watches on in horror as the car drives her away.
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In the end, I felt underwhelmed, and even writing this is now, this production just didn't quite have it. Me thinks it was a bit overcooked in that it was trying to be a slasher film as well as be a homage to the original as well as also trying to be its own film as well as say something about the numerous topics affecting young people today. The end result really feels like one of those films where one team starts with one screenplay, then part way through production/development, things changed drastically and another team was shoehorned in to make and release the film (as well as carry the can) - and it turns out it was.
However, where I think the movie does its best work is as a modern social commentary. Numerous references are made to topics such as gentrification, social media, and disposession of property by capitalists looking to further their interests, amongst others. But I think the sub-plot of Melody reliving her trauma and struggling to make sense of her place in the world post-shooting was the best and most poignant part.
I also liked the modern touches of humour - the most notable of which is the scene when all of the prospective buyers are on the party bus, Leatherface suddenly appears and stands infront of everyone holding his chainsaw, the crowd are all pointing their smartphones at him and someone says to him, "Do anything and you get cancelled!".
I recognised Olwen Faoure as soon as I saw her. She's a great character actress. However, what struck me was the idea of an Irish woman in Bulgaria (where this movie was filmed) pretending to be a Texan, and a couple of moments, you can hear her Irish twang come through.
And while we're on that point, there is one massive "huh?" moment involving her character, Sally Hardesty. There's a spot where Leatherface is in his mum's house tinkering with his chainsaw and Hardesty creeps up the stairs, gun in hand to confront Leatherface by saying "Do you remember me?". Given the numerous victims that Leatherface has racked up over the decades, his low IQ as well as his seeming intellectual impairment, there would be very little reason for Leatherface to reply in the affirmative - thus his decision to just casually walk past a woman with a loaded gun pointed at him without saying a word was both an appropriate response and the most badass moment of the movie.
In the end, it's not the worst movie ever. It just "exists".
STAR RATING: 2.5/5
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