Logo

Saturday, September 19, 2026

1 Brother, 7 Siblings (2025 film)

Category: Foreign language drama

Original Indonesian Title: 1 Kakak 7 Ponakan

Directed by: Yandy Laurens

Reminded me of: Wonder

-----

"Damo, Damo, you have to watch this - I heard it's really good!" said Mrs. Damo, right after Mr. Damo recovered from watching Siksa Kubur. And as soon as it started, Damo realised that he and Mrs. Damo have a VERY different taste in movies.

Apparently, this movie is an adaptation of a Sinetron titled (in English) "A Sister & Seven Siblings" from the 1990s, just with a gender-swap.

The plot:

The movie starts off with Moko (Chicco Kurniawan) who moves in with his heavily pregnant older sister and her husband, Agnes and Atmo (Maudy Koesnaedi and Kiki Narendra) to prepare for his thesis defence and graduation to a Masters program in architecture. Agnes and Atmo live with Woko (Fatih Unru), Nina (Freya Jayawardana, credited here as Freya JKT48) and Ano (Ahmad Nadif) who is Atmo's nephew.

Saturday, September 5, 2026

Grave Torture (2024 film)

Category: Foreign language - supernatural horror

Original title: Siksa Kubur

Directed by: Joko Anwar

----

So recently, it was a public holiday where I am in Australia. As a film buff, I decided to whip out the ol' Netflix and see what was available. A film called Grave Torture sounds kinda interesting - supernatural splatter horror, and with an R18+ rating. This better hit hard because anything with an R18+ rating isn't (and shouldn't be) a walk in the park!

And I can only hope that it will be better than Guna Guna Istri Muda, which in reality isn't a high bar to clear.

The plot:

The movie begins with siblings Sita and Adil (Widuri Puteri and Muzakki Ramdhan) working at their parents bakery. Their parent's (played by Fachri Albar and Happy Salma) are kindly people, but business is struggling. While standing behind the counter, Adil catches the attention of a man with a serious look on his face and wearing headphones. The man walks in, hands Adil a casette tape, talks about fighting the enemies of Allah and warns him to not go outside. Sita attempts to prevent a theft of cash from the till with the parents confronting the thief outside, but they all fall victim to the man Adil encountered before who turns out to be a suicide bomber.

Back home after police questioning, the two children play the cassette and find it contains unnerving sounds of people being tortured incessantly and ending with "Man Rabbuka?" (Arabic for "Who is your Lord?"). If you're thinking this is analogous to the "screams from hell" recording that made the rounds during the 1980s, you'd be absolutely right.

Having lost both their parents, the two children are sent to a Pesantren (an Islamic boarding school in a remote village) where Sita has become quite headstrong and starts to wonder if the whole concept of punishment in the afterlife (and especially the idea of torture in the grave) was created to scare people in the here and now. 

--

Now, the concept of torture in the grave requires me to exposit a little bit on Sunni Islamic theology. In Sunni Islam, when a person is buried (where they're in the realm of Barzakh) they will be asked three questions by two angels named Munkar and Nakir: Who is your Lord, what is your religion and what do you say about Muhammad? The idea is then that for a righteous person, the two angels will appear as pleasant beings, the person will be able to answer the questions correctly (Allah, Islam, he was the prophet) and the grave opens to become a paradise. But for unrighteous people (unbelievers, hypocrites, etc), the two angels appear as dark, fierce and with eyes like thunder who will strike the person in the grave with hammers and the grave closes up to the point that the left and right ribs interlock. And thus we have the concept of grave tortue (in Indonesian, siksa kubur), hence the title. 

Back to the movie!

--

Being a strict Islamic school where teachers relish in describing Islamic afterlife torture don't take too kindly to skeptical questions, so Sita plans to run away - however, there are only two ways out: past the guards (somehow), or through a scary tunnel. Sita and Adil take the scary tunnel option. Adil makes it a little bit of the way in, but is left behind by Sita who goes much further in to the point she comes across the deformed spirit of a boy named Ismail. Sita runs back out the tunnel in absolute fright and finds Adil has been busted by the teachers.

One of the teachers takes pity on Sita and equips her to abscond, but she first needs to get Adil away from the clutches of the school benefactor, Ilham, who has a proclivity to young boys and who is somehow connected to the Ismail that Sita saw in the tunnel. Though she is unable to help her brother, afterwards the two eventually make their way along the tunnel and successfully escape.

The story then skips two decades later where Sita (Faradina Mufti) is working in a high-end nursing home and Adil (Reza Rahadian) works in a mortuary, their respective occupations giving them access to plenty of people on death's door and to graves. Sita is still obsessed with the idea of "grave torture", having kept the tape from decades ago. Sita reads that the tape was recorded by the suicide bomber at the grave of a serial killer.

At her workplace, Sita has a somewhat close relationship with Mr Wahyu (Slamet Rahardjo) who comes across as a bit eccentric, but wealthy enough to afford aforementioned high-end nursing home (despite his family's protestations). One night, Wahyu and Sita get into a heated discussion around morality and Sita reveals that she knows Wahyu is actually Ilham because Sita has managed to track him down. Wahyu takes his own life by gunshot after declaring he is unrepentant.

Having dug a grave large enough for two people, Adil hands Sita a handheld camcorder as she lies down next to Wahyu and the grave is covered up. Sita notices a couple of small things come down the pipe that is supplying her air, and a snake comes up next to Adil.

The next day, it is implied nothing scary happened, so Sita pulls a favour from one of the residents of her nursing home to get a spot on a chat show where she publicly questions religion. However, Adil had swapped the memory card from the camcorder, leading to a heated argument between the two siblings as Adil complains that Sita's obsession is going too far. Sita retorts that she has always had to be the stronger of the two throughout their lives, especially because of what happened to Adil all those years ago at the pesantren.

Back at the nursing home, Sita sees ghostly figures pop up in corners and then suddenly disappear - especially in Mr. Wahyu's room. Later that night, Sita discovers one of the other nurses, Lali, in a compromising position with Pandi which causes his wife, Nani, to kick him out of their room. Nani loses control of her bladder, and with no-one to help her she attempts to operate the faulty washing machine to wash her clothes. She achieves this, but when she goes back for her wedding ring, the washing machine catches Nani's hair and continually twists it. Eventually, not only is Nani scalped, but her face is fully degloved (one of the most hilarious effects in the movie - I had to show my wife because it was stupidly ridiculous).

Sita gets into a conversation with Mrs. Juwita, a woman who claims to hear the dead speak, so she calls Sita, Pandi and a couple of others into a séance. Juwita, with Nani's voice, tells Pandi that to earn her forgiveness, he needs to kill Lali. The séance stops suddenly when Juwita, with Adil's voice, says to help Ismail. Afterwards, poor Nani is targeted by Pandi, but ends up being stabbed by Hadi, another resident at the séance.

Adil is preparing a body for burial and takes a quick break to walk over to his locker where we see he has two memory cards labelled Wahyu - indicating that he indeed did swap them for Sita's TV appeareance. But his day is about to take a turn for the worse as the body he was preparing for burial has reanimated and ends up attacking him as he hides in his locker.

We then see that after Sita's appearance on the talk show, all the talk about grave torture has led to what might be dubbed an Islamic revival - people coming to Islam to find their faith, teens visiting graves to experience grave torture, but also numerous suicide bombers. Frustrated that Wahyu has died peacefully without any torture, Sita digs her way back into Wahyu's grave with her camcorder when suddenly the grave starts to collapse. Sita lands in a tunnel where she is confronted with numerous scenes (while also questioning if she's hallucinating due to oxygen deprivation) - her parents right before they were blown up, Adil preparing a body, and Ismail crying for help as a lecherous Wahyu approaches (doing the most stupid dance I've seen). Ismail (now looking normal) and Sita approach a hole that she needs to jump over. However she ends up falling into it which immediately takes her back to the grave alongside Wahyu - and this is where the fun starts…

Back in the grave, we see the snake from before climb down the air pipe and into the throat of Wahyu's corpse where he suddenly sits up, only for a demonic-looking figure to repeatedly smash his face in with a hammer and to be bitten by the snake - but between every blow and. bite, Wahyu's face regenerates. Covered in blood splatter and bits of Wahyu, Sita repents of her sins and begs for forgiveness from Allah. Adil, suffering from a snake bite of his own, digs up Wahyu's grave and rescues his sister right before the grave caves in. As they walk away, a demonic voice asks Sita, "Man Rabbuka?".

The screen cuts to black and we then see Nani's hand (with her distinctive wedding ring) pause a video of Wahyu in his final address saying that what happens to you in the grave will be what you fear the most.

-----

An interesting roller-coaster ride of a movie, and the ending is one of those ones that really needs some exploration and consideration to make sense of. The most straightforward explanation is that Sita died when she was in the grave alongside Wahyu the first time because the snake blocked her air pipe so then everything after that night was an hallucination - her going to work, her going on the TV show, the séance, Pandi's affair with Lali, the subsequent deaths and her going back into the grave - all of that was an hallucination. However, there is enough room to come up with other interpretations, particularly since right at the very end, Sita is asked who her God is, despite not being in a grave - is this an hallucination as well?

Some reviews of this movie thought of it as a yay-for-Islam movie, but given that numerous people die due to suicide bombing and that the benefactor of the school was a lecherous pervert, this is no more a yay-for-Islam movie than what The Exorcist was a yay-for-Catholicism movie or what The Offering was a yay-for-Rabbinic Judaism movie. It's a movie made using a religious framework to tell a story, and given it's set in Indonesia, Islam seems to be the perfect backdrop.

As a movie, I have to say: the first third of the movie, up until the siblings escape down the tunnel, had me thinking this was going to be in the Best In Class category. As a piece of storytelling, cinema, suspense and frights, it was perfect!

However, my run of movies with supernatural premises that either don't explain the rules well enough, or breaks the rules for the sake of the plot, continues. I get that the story had to be fleshed out, but in hindsight, the middle and the end really didn't capitalise on the excellent beginning. Implying that half the movie was an hallucination is a great way to get us wondering why did all this extraneous stuff happen - why is Sita being followed by demons in an hallucination, why are corpses killing Adil in an hallucination, why did Nani get scalped in an hallucination?

And particularly in the section I call "the tunnel of revelation" - What importance does Ismail play in Sita's life story to the point that he features so prominently, especially considering they never met? The part where the kneeling kids plead for Sita to help Ismail, Ismail pleads Sita to protect him from Wahyu (who we see climbing on the ceiling), they walk about 10 metres up the tunnel and then Ismail says "thanks for helping - I'm safe now!" then magically teleports out the scene where Wahyu charges at Sita - meaning the danger from Wahyu/Ilham is not actually over. This don't make sense. It's almost like they did the "tunnel of revelation" just for the sake of some scares.

I did like the very last part, though. Quite gruesome. The tortures inflicted on Wahyu are quite extravagant, especially with the nine snakes and what the angel does to him. The close-up of Sita drenched in corpse blood with body parts hitting her and she's screaming under camcorder light for forgiveness - that was excellent! The face regenerating between each strike added an extra layer.

The subtle hints at comedy were also appreciated. The scalping scene where Nani loses her face…I had to replay that a few times as it was hilarious! Hilarious to the point that I showed my wife, and she's definitely not a horror fan. And the opening title sequence was hilariously cut - going from the fires of hell, all of a sudden…to a bakery oven!

What would I have done differently? Part of me wanted to keep the movie set to when the two siblings were children - the two children they has to play the roles did a great job with what they had and I don't see any good reason why they couldn’t continue, except maybe some cultural (or maybe even legal) prohibition against starring children in horror movies. Like, yes, what happens to dead people is a dark topic

It's not a bad movie overall, but does ends up at only Decent.


STAR RATING: 3/5





Saturday, August 22, 2026

A Quiet Place: Day One (2022 film)

Category: Creature horror

Directed by: Michael Sarnoski

-----

One of the most famous quotes ever to come from the pen of English essayist Samuel Johnson was that "patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel". The quote is not actually about patriotism itself, but critiques the insincere use of patriotism and how some individuals exploit the concept of patriotism for self-serving purposes. And if I may bastardise the quote for second, Damo the middle-aged movie reviewer thus states "prequels are the last refuge of creatively-bankrupt movie studios - who may or may not be scoundrels".

And I start off with this because the first "A Quiet Place" movie was a surprise smash hit - a surprise smash hit to the point that Paramount Pictures decided to do Paramount Pictures things and pump out a sequel. I haven't seen the sequel, but I get the impressions it didn't quite hit the same creative and box office heights as the first. And so we are faced with the age old question - what do you do when you can't advance a story further, but want to milk more out your IP? The answer - you run it back to the beginning.

So now we have "A Quiet Place: Day One", chronicling the very beginning of the monster invasion of Earth (which takes place in New York, because of course).

The plot:

Lupita Nyongo plays Sam, a woman dying from cancer and living out her days at a hospice in upstate New York, alongside her cat Frodo who keeps her company. Sam reluctantly agrees to go on an day trip to a New York City theatre (on the promise of pizza afterwards) for a marionette puppet show. Sam sneaks out for a quick bit of personal shopping then back to the theatre right at the end, and right when she thinks its pizza time, we see meteors flash across the sky and the patients are ordered back on the bus to evacuate and head back to the hospice.

Saturday, August 8, 2026

Peaky Blinders: The Immortal Man (2026 film)

Category: Historic gangster drama/TV series tie-in.

Directed by: Tom Harper

Similar to: The Dark Knight Rises (but in Birmingham).

-----

I wouldn't consider myself a Peaky Blinders fan. I liked it, sure, but not enough to make Red Right Hand my ringtone or to get a Peaky Blinders haircut - I was much more a fan of how they recreated the time period. The series did a fairly good job of presenting the ethos and spirit of post-WW1 Britain, but my main gripe with the series was how Tommy Shelby kept on surviving assassination attempt after assassination attempt. That, and the very last episode which verged on outright ridiculous.

But as they say, no good deed goes unpunished, and given how popular the series was, there was always going to be an attempt to revive the IP in some form be it a movie or a series return. So with that in mind, we get the feature-length movie Peaky Blinders: The Immortal Man.

Oh man. I'm not a fan of that subtitle for starters...but here goes!

The plot:

The movie starts off in Germany where we see a large-scale operation where counterfeit British banknotes are ready to be shipped to England in order to ruin the British war-time economy, the transport of which is being facilitated by Beckett (Tim Roth).

Saturday, July 25, 2026

Melania (2026 documentary)

Category: Documentary

Directed by: Brett Ratner

----

There's an old saying from Madame de Stael that goes:

In life, one must choose between boredom or suffering. 

In light of that, shall I add, that on the very rare occasion, life gives you both at the same time.

With this in mind I bring you my review of Melania, a documentary film released earlier in 2026 that chronicles three particular weeks in the life of current United States First Lady Melania Trump in the lead-up to the January 2025 inauguration of her husband, Donald Trump.

Just to make clear - I'm reviewing this as a film watcher and keeping any thoughts about US president Trump or his administration, be they positive or negative, aside. If you're after a Trump-bashing exercise, this isn't it.

But even as a film watcher, I have some fairly strong opinions which I want to get to, so let's get into a plot recap first:

There honestly isn't much of a plot or a story here.

Saturday, July 11, 2026

Sunshine Women's Choir (2025 film)

Category: Musical drama

Directed by: Gavin Lin

Similar to: Glee, but in a prison.

----

Regular readers and the bots that scrape this website will know that foreign language movies aren't really my thing - out of the 70 or so movies I've reviewed so far, only a handful have been foreign. Not out of hatred or anything, but just that one tends to feel more comfortable with the things they're familiar with. 

However, I can now add another foreign movie to the list - Sunshine Women's Choir, which marks my first Chinese-language movie. My wife wanted to see this since it had quite a bit of hype from its release in Taiwan, and look, discounted movie tickets and a night out with the family aren't the worst combination in history.

When I was told that we're seeing Sunshine Women's Choir, I initially thought it was about the Melbourne suburb of Sunshine - and yes, there is literally a suburb in Melbourne called Sunshine, named after the company that built a manufacturing hub in the suburb around WW1. A movie about a group of women from a working-class immigrant suburb forming a choir wouldn't have been a bad premise for a movie, but it turns out this movie is about a bunch of women in a prison who form a choir instead.

Let's get reviewing, shall we!

Plot (really badly explained):

Inside the northern women's prison of Taiwan (implying there's also a southern women's prison in Taiwan), the pregnant Hui-Zhen (Ivy Chen) gives birth and raises her daughter. In her cell (which looks more like a creche than a place where people do hard times) are three other women who help raise the girl - the more senior Yu Ying (Judy Ongg), the middle-aged Pei Ying (May Suen) who has a male pen pal/love interest on the outside, and Xiu Lan (Amber An).

Saturday, June 27, 2026

The Brutalist (2024 film)

Genre: Historic drama epic

Directed by: Brady Corbet

----

I hestitated for a very long time before deciding to start this movie. I've always wanted to watch it becasuse I think Adrien Brody is one of the best actors of this generation. But seriously? Three fucking hours? In that time I could watch a standard-length horror movie, get a Thai massage, get some ink done and have time for coffee afterwards.

Now, the title of the film refers to the architecture style known as Brutalism whose features are exposed concrete/building materials, straight geometric shapes and bland colour pallettes - not anything to do with fighting or MMA.

So I'm torn - a three hour Adrien Brody movie just simply has to be the most epic movie in history. But a three hour movie about an architect - epic? Really? However, some time back when I was on holidays from work, I decided it's now or never - put my feet up, get a packed lunch, shut myself off from the world and hit play.

The plot:

The movie plays out in five parts - Overture, The Enigma Of Arrival, an intermission, The Hard Core Of Beauty and Epilogue: The First Architecture Biennale.

Saturday, June 13, 2026

Talk To Me (2022 film)

Category: Teen supernatural horor

Directed by: Danny and Michael Phillippou

Similar to: Hereditary, It Follows

-----

I avoided this movie for a while because the name of this movie is very similar to a software application I support at my work whose implementation and support have caused me headaches - to the point that merely typing the title of this movie reminds me of said work, the last thing I want while I am on annual leave and watching movies.

But once again, I am also guilty of cutting off my nose to spite my face by delaying watching this - this movie turned out to be quite decent! I'll get into my full thoughts after a plot run-down, but if you're a fan of movies like Hereditary and It Follows, you'll also like this one.

The other thing to note is that this is another high-profile horror movie to be filmed in South Australia as The Babadook and Snowtown were filmed there as well. Maybe South Australia is competing with Tasmania to be the horror capital of Australia - God knows South Australia has some skin in the game on that front, to the point that Top Gear once famously quipped:

"Being home to serial killers, and sharks, and probably also serial-killing sharks, and heavy rain, Adelaide is thus a grand place to drive away from."

The plot:

The movie begins at a large teenage house party and we follow Cole (Ari McCarthy) who is in a rage trying to find his brother Duckett (Sunny Johnson). Duckett, as it turns out, has locked himself in a bedroom whose door Cole smashes down. Leading his brother out and castigating everyone present for filming his meltdown on their phones, Cole turns around and is suddenly stabbed by his brother who then proceeds to fatally stab himself.

Saturday, May 30, 2026

Choose Or Die (2022 film)

Category: Supernatural horror with sci-fi leanings.

Directed by: Toby Meakins

Feels like: Jumanji meets The Ring meets Pixels

-----

I honestly didn't know what to expect when I saw this come up as an option on my streaming service, except that it was only 84 minutes. A sense of relief came over me that it wasn't no 3.5 hour epic like The BrutalistThere's nothing wrong with Hollywood epics - some of them are my favourite movies - but there's just something about the 90-minute format that is comforting. Like being under a thick blanket on a cold night while you tuck into a bag of snacks.

And horror movies - you should know by now I loves me a good horror movie.

So is Choose Or Die, a 2022 effort directed by Toby Meakins, a good horror movie? Find out after the plot recap!

The plot:

The opening scene sees Laura (Kate Fleetwood) berating her son Gabe (Pete McHale) about an unspecified, but serious incident as there are mentions of police involvement. The two eventually bemoan how the dad of the family, Hal (Eddie Marsan) is uninvolved in family affairs due to his electronic gadget obsession in his "man cave". We then see Hal shut the door and start up a text-based computer game called CURS>R on an old green phosphour CRT screen.

Saturday, May 16, 2026

M3GAN 2.0 (2025 film)

Category: sci-fi action-comedy

Directed by: Gerard Johnstone

Similar to: M3GAN

------

The first M3GAN movie inspired memes and trends and had a top-notch marketing campaign behind it. The sequel, M3GAN 2.0? I didn’t even know it actually existed, let alone had a theatrical run and was now on streaming - though that could just be because I am busy living my life while reviewing other movies. As luck would have it, I just happened to find this available on my streaming service, so being a glutton for punishment, I hit play and grabbed my coffee.

Looking at the box office figures, the first M3GAN movie raked in $180M from a $12M budget - a clear financial success, even though it wasn't exactly Citizen Kane - whereas the interwebs tells me that the sequel has grossed only $40M or so from a $25M budget. Yikes! 

Will M3GAN 2.0 be up there with Citizen Kane instead, despite the box office loss? Let's find out after a plot recap!

Plot:

The movie begins near the Turkiye/Iran border where a woman has been captured attempting to sneak into a clandestine facility. She is executed at gunpoint and her body brought inside. We suddenly cut to a group of men in a military briefing room being given a presentation of a live view from inside said clandestine facility when the defence secretary comes in, angry that a military operation is being conducted without her knowledge. The presenter placates her by stating they're not conducting an operation - they're merely lending experimental US military equipment for someone else's operation (totally legit, right!). Suddenly, the person that had been executed previously reanimates in classic M3GAN style and it becomes apparent we are seeing a lifelike android carry out a command to rescue a particular scientist being held captive. However, the android starts ignoring orders, executes the scientist and extricates canisters of toxic nerve gas.

Saturday, May 2, 2026

Apocalypse Now (1979 film)

Category: War drama/book-to-movie adaptation

Directed by: Francis Ford Coppola

-----

In keeping with the military theme around ANZAC Day, given my last review was for The Water Diviner, I'll now review another military-themed movie, but this time a little more dark and serious...

I watched Apocalypse Now for the first time back when I was in high school and was tasked to write a report about it. There wasn't much compunction about letting the older kids/young adults studying a quite mature film since it was final year, and it was either this, or To Kill A Mockingbird. And goddammit, I wanted some action! Little did I know all those years ago that I was actually writing a book report by-proxy, the book in question being Heart Of Darkness by Joseph Conrad about a man who travels up a river on behalf of an ivory trading company in Belgian-controlled Congo and witnesses large-scale depravity. Change a few details, modernise it to be a reflection on a highly unpopular war and voila, an old story is new again.

I appreciated this movie as being fairly decent when I first saw it all those years ago and noticed it has made numerous "must watch before you die" lists, so I wanted to re-watch this with mature eyes - to see if it stood the test of time.

From the initial 1979 release, two subsequent versions were created - Redux and Director's Cut. However here, I'll only be reviewing the standard theatrical cut. Redux adds scenes to the standard cut, and then Francis Ford Coppola went and added yet more scenes to create the Director's Cut which removed some scenes from Redux. Can't wait for the Mega-Ultra-Redux-Director's Cut-5-Hour-Marathon edition…

The plot:

The movie follows Capt. Ben Willard (Martin Sheen) who we see alone on a bed in a Saigon hotel room dealing with the mental demons from his previous Vietnam deployments and his inability to adjust to life back home. He is suddenly visited by military escorts and summoned to appear before higher-ups who have a mission for him. The mission (should he choose to accept it) is to "terminate, with extreme prejudice" the command of Colonel Walter Kurtz (Marlon Brando), a brilliant soldier who has decided to separate from the US forces and now has his own private militia in Cambodia that worship him as a god.

Saturday, April 18, 2026

The Water Diviner (2014 film)

Category: Australian wartime drama

Directed by: Russell Crowe

-----

The timing of this movie review is somewhat fortuitous - ANZAC Day is a week away, so now is a good a time as any to publish my review of the 2014 World War I drama, The Water Diviner.

--- 

Some of you may be familiar with the term deus ex machina, a literal translation of the phrase "god from the machine" and this term is used in literature or performance art to describe a contrived and/or unrealistic solution to a problem the plot presents. 

Some examples of this phenomenon you might be familiar with include Lord Of The Rings where the Great Eagles appear out of nowhere to take Frodo and Samwise out of Mordor once the ring has been destroyed - despite not being part of the plot at any previous stage. The aliens in War Of The Worlds suddenly die because of…bacteria. In Sicario 2, Bernicio Del Toro's character somehow survives a point-blank gun shot to the head. And the convoluted plan to stab The Creeper with a weather vane somehow works out in Jeepers Creepers: Reborn - these are all deus ex machina. Now, while a bit of DeM isn't a death-knell for a movie, you have to keep in mind that if you're going to employ an improbable resolution to a plot point, just don't take the piss.

And why "god of the machine", you may ask? Because performers who played the gods in the dramas of old would be lowered down into a scene by winches or ropes (machines) to do their god thing.

So why am starting off a movie review with a description of an obscure Latin phrase? Because there is one specific scene in the 2014 war-time drama movie The Water Diviner, starring and directed by Russell Crowe, where the deus ex machina was so egregious that not only was the piss being taken, but my bladder was being absolutely violated.

Saturday, April 4, 2026

Primate (2025 film)

Category: Animal horror/teen horror.

Directed by: Johannes Roberts

Similar to: Cujo

----

I don't usually watch movies in the cinema. Partly because of cost (of both tickets and refreshments), partly because of the convenience of streaming and partly because not all movies are cinematic experiences. However, my teenage son wanted to go see this, we found discounted tickets and so off we went.

I went in with low-to-middling expectations - the first sign that I should be worried was the fact that when we bought our tickets, we could pick literally anywhere in the cinema to sit indicating that there was low demand to see this. Once the movie started proper, there was a total of twelve people seated, including a pair of middle-aged women - a scenario that struck me as incredibly strange. Undeterred, I kept an open mind and decided the quality of the work should speak for itself. 

Now, the only burning question remaining: is this movie about a hominid ape or a high-ranking Catholic bishop?

The plot:

Lucy (Johnny Sequoyah) returns home to Hawaii alongside her friends Kate (Victoria Wyant), Hannah (Jess Alexander) and Kate's older brother Nick (Benjamin Cheng) and is reunited with her father Adam (Troy Kotsur, but I could have sworn was Gary Sinise) and younger sister Erin (Gia Hunter). Adam is an author and animal conservationist, and his recently deceased wife was a professor of linguistics who had taught their pet chimpanzee Ben (Miguel Torres Umba in a physically-demanding role) to communicate by using sign language and a sound board.

Saturday, March 21, 2026

Death In Brunswick (1990 film)

Catgeory: Australian black comedy.

Directed by: John Ruane

-----

I have lived in Melbourne for quite a while now, and while I've always been aware of this movie's existence, even the title Death In Brunswick raises some curious questions - is it set in Brunswick, and should I be aware of any mortal dangers should I chance to venture there?

Now, for those of you who may not be familiar, the Brunswick in question is actually a real place. It's a suburb located north of the Melbourne CBD and comprises of a large percentage of people with southern and eastern European ethnicity (Greeks, Italians, Turks, etc) to the point that you wonder if you're still in Australia as you walk down the main street. Nowadays, Brunswick has become more hipster and I'd argue that the suburbs of Coburg and Preston seem to be the ethnic epicentres of northern Melbourne, but still…

Now, I just realised that this makes the 4th Australian movie in a row I have reviewed. Yes, I am warming up to Australian cinema. Let's see if Death In Brunswick can keep the positive momentum going, but let's do a plot recap first!

The plot:

Carl Fitzgerald (Sam Neill) is a layabout bloke (some may say lazy) who drifts between employment as a cook and prefers lazing in his hovel of a residence to the point that his mother (Yvonne Lawley) feels compelled to come clean up. Answering a job ad for a sleazy bar, Carl (to his surprise) is immediately employed and gets to work turning the kitchen around. Assisting him is Mustafa (Nick Lathouris), a long-time assistant cook who supplements his income by trading items of ill repute while on the clock. Hankering for an alcoholic drink (though against management rules), Carl heads upstairs to the bar and connects with the beautiful Sophie (Zoe Carides), a young Greek-Australian woman.

Saturday, March 7, 2026

Australia Day (2017 film)

Category: Anthology drama

Directed by: Kriv Stenders

-----

In my review for The Last Days Of Chez Nous, I bemoaned Australian cinema for either producing movies by wankers for wankers, or for making movies whose primary purpose is to castigate the audience for living in a country tainted by a past based on racism/sexism/colonialism/etc. And with this movie, I walked into it good and proper - castigation aplenty! However, criticism of Australian society is not without warrant as there are definitely horrible people around, and indigenous people have been at the rough end of the justice system. 

However, what I've never understood is why anti-racism crusaders make anti-racism movies trying to guilt racist people for being racist - the people that need to be reminded to not be racist don't usually sit down to watch anti-racism crusade movies made by anti-racism crusaders.

Anyway, about the movie itself. Australia Day is an ensemble story - much like Dragged Across Concrete - in that it presents three different plots that connect in the end, so I'll sum it all up as best I can given that the story jumps back and forth.

The plot:

Terry Friedman (played by an aged, but definitely not diminished Bryan Brown) is driving down a Brisbane road on a stinking hot Australia Day when an Asian woman (Jenny Wu) running away from a warehouse flags him down. She then helps herself to the passenger seat and implores Terry to drive off as fast as possible while an Asian man (Zhou, played by Kee Chong) looks on in frustration and disbelief. 

Saturday, February 21, 2026

Upgrade (2018 film)

Category: Sci-fi action/social commentary

Directed by: Leigh Whannel

----

Over the couple of years I have been (un)professionally reviewing movies, I've noticed Upgrade pop up as a suggestion a few times. However, what prevented me giving it 90 minutes of my time is that it is an Australian movie, and yes, I should be supportive of the local industry and of the talents we have both infront of and behind the camera, but fucking hell, I've come across enough shit Australian movies (especially in the early 2000s) to know it can be really hit and miss. Mostly miss.

Though 2026 is as good a time as any to hit play - Australian movies are generally getting better (though not always to a level of financial success) and we have also reached a point in time where Artificial Intelligence is advancing rapidly, particularly in creative outlets - so why not watch a movie about people whose lives have been taken over by rapidly-advanced technology!

The plot:

Grey Trace (Logan Marshall-Green) spends his days restoring old muscle cars while his wife Asha (Melanie Vallejo) works a corporate job at bio-augmentation company COBALT (which could easily be seen as a take on Elon Musk's Neuralink).

Saturday, February 7, 2026

The Dry 2: Force Of Nature (2021 film)

Category: Australian murder mystery, book-to-movie adaptation

Directed by: Robert Connolly

-----

Eric Bana returns in the sequel to one of the few Australian movies in recent memory to actually get and live up to the hype. The Dry 2: Force Of Nature is the long-awaited sequel to the modern classic The Dry, though there is a certain irony in having a movie titled The Dry set in a wet and damp forest…

This movie is based off the Jane Harper book Force Of Nature, the second in the Aaron Falk trilogy, and chances are we will probably get Exiles somewhere down the line. Not that I've read any Jane Harper books, but I will say it looks like she knows how to put a story together!

Is the movie itself any good? Will fans of the first love the second? Find out after the plot recap, bearing in mind that this movie involves a lot of flashbacks (much like the first), so I'll do my best to present a coherent linear description.

The plot:

The movie begins with four women emerging out from a damp and dark forest, flagging down a car to seek medical attention for one of the women who has been bitten by a spider.

Saturday, January 24, 2026

Predators (2010 film)

Category: Action/creature drama

Directed by: Nimrod Antal

----

So in my review for Prey, I threw just a hint of shade on some of the previous movies in the Predator franchise. However, I have since wondered if I had been too harsh on Predators because while I remembered Predators as not being a completely shitty movie (that indignation will forever fall squarely on The Predator), should I have considered Predators higher in the Predator pantheon?

So it was just my luck that when this movie came up in my streaming service, I decided to watch it with a fresh set of eyes. 

Has time affected my view of this movie? Is this movie any good? Will there be autistic children who figure out Yautja technology, or killer dog-like creatures that become playful puppies after being shot in the head? Let's find out after the plot recap!

The plot:

The movie begins with an unconscious Royce (Adrien Brody) free-falling through the sky and then suddenly waking up and flailing about. Not too long before he hits the ground, his parachute automatically deploys, though it barely softens his landing on the jungle floor any.

After dusting himself off, he comes across Cuchillo (the unmistakeable Danny Trejo) who likewise has just picked himself up after his own parachute drop, but before they can make plans for lunch, they are fired upon by Nikolai (former UFC fighter Oleg Taktarov). Thankfully, Royce convinces Nikolai to stop shooting so he too can join the party, but discussions about lunch plans are once again cut short when Isabel (Alice Braga) stands there with a sniper rifle, unhappy that she hasn’t been invited to discussions about lunch. Her gun-barrel negotiations are successful as she gets to join the lunch party and she relays that the jungle they all find themselves in is like no place that is on earth. Maybe she should really go get some lunch…

Saturday, January 10, 2026

Wolf Man (2025 film)

Category: Werewolf horror, reboot/remake of existing IP

----

The government of the state of Oregon over in the US must be tearing their hair out. How are they ever going to attract anyone to come visit when there are so many horror movies, TV shows and video games set there (and all that's without mentioning the residents). There was Longlegs, there was also the open-world zombie game Days Gone (a low-key classic in my opinion) and now we have this - a movie about a werewolves in a forest!

What attracted me to this was when I saw Leigh Whannel's name on it - he has been involved with numerous high-quality horror films (the Saw and Insidious franchises come to mind), so I thought I'd give this one a spin - if indeed one can spin movies.

Is it any good? Find out after the plot!

The plot:

The movie starts off with a shot of a forest and text stating that in 1995, a hiker went missing as they succumbed to a virus called "Hill Fever" by the locals, or "Mouth Of The Wolf" by the indigenous peoples. We then see Grady (Sam Jaeger) on a hunting trip through the woods of Oregon with his young son Blake (Zac Chandler) in order to teach him how to be a hunter and to survive not just forest environments, but in life in general. Of course, Blake ignores his father's advice and wanders off away from his dad at the most inopportune time - a scary and mysterious creature much more threatening than the deer they have in their sights is close by.

Saturday, December 27, 2025

Anora (2024 film)

Category: Dramedy

Directed by: Sean Baker

-----

Wikipedia describes this movie as a romantic comedy-drama. Ha! It's hardly romantic. I've actually gone with Dramedy as the category because this movie is essentially a drama revolving around a marriage and tinged with some wonderfully subtle comedy.

I remember when this came out, there was lots of consternation by the online blowhards about a movie centering around sex work, as well as the controversy of a Russian (Yura Borisov) being nominated for an Academy award (Best Supporting Actor) because of all the naughty things Vladimir Putin is doing in Ukraine. Wow. Not racist at all! And this plays in to my tendency/preference to wait until hysteria about a movie has died down, to allow me to watch said movie with a fresh mind.

So to that end, Anora actually won five awards out of six Oscar nominations (though Borisov didn't win his nomination - would have been hella awkward if he did).

Anyway, let's break down the plot.

Plot:

Anora (Mikey Madison) - but who prefers the shortened form of her name, Ani - works at a New York strip club when one night, the boss of the club demands Ani service a specific high-value patron because Ani can speak Russian (though not fluently). The patron is Ivan 'Vanya' Zhakarov (Mark Eydelshteyn), a young Russian man who prefers using his parents' wealth to party rather than study.

1 Brother, 7 Siblings (2025 film)

Category: Foreign language drama Original Indonesian Title: 1 Kakak 7 Ponakan Directed by: Yandy Laurens Reminded me of: Wonder ----- "...